There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
