omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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