i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
