Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize