On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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