is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
