i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
