How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
