no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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