Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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