Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
