Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
