dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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