Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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