why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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