I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
