My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
is wine microwaveable?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize