She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
