I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
