i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
