It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
