i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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