hell yes lets make some ravioli
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we're making bets on your personal life
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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