Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
