You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
