did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
