I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
