I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
