Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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