I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
