and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
