Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Shame - the story of my life.
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