i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
