One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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