I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Say something about gay babies.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
