Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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