I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
