Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
