Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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