I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
