She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
