I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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