So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
