The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
