Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
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