doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
