I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
