I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
