just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
