If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Randomize
