Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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