i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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