Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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