i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
