What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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