i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
