he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
