You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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