i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
