So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
