Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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