that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He felt like a one man threesome
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
