i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We need to get me chipped asap
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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