the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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