Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
