I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
