i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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