just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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