last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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