im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
