Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize