Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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