we're chasing vodka with high fives
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
