Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
