If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize