I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
