The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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